Pain
by Xtremeroswellian
Summary: Wherever You Will Go Series Fic #3. Faith and Bosco try to deal with their feelings for each other while Sully and Tatiana meet to try and work through their problems. Conclusion up now!!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Wherever You Will Go series, fic #3: Pain (1/2)

Authors: Demelza and X_tremeroswellian

Email(s): demelza81@yahoo.co.nz and X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to us. They belong to Edward Allen Bernero and John Wells and a bunch of other people that we've never met before. Please don't sue. 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through and including "The Unforgiven." 

Author's Note: This is the third story in a series of Third Watch fics we're writing titled "Wherever You Will Go." The first one is "Confessions," the second is "Here With Me." You may want to read those first before continuing. 

* * *

Previously: 

*Davis was starting to feel impatient but he tried to hide it by looking out the window. "So...you and Tatiana talked then? "  
Sully finally gave in. "Yeah. Not for long, but after I got offline, she called. We've agreed to meet for coffee tomorrow since I have the day off."

*"Matt Harrison has been making a wicked homeade ecstacy/heroin combination and selling it to a bunch of junior high and high school kids. Boscorelli, you were late, so you and Yokas may have the pleasure of finding and arresting him." Christopher smirked at Bosco.

*"Where can we find him?" Bosco demanded.  
"I dunno man, I heard he does a lotta work up Center Street, 764 North... there's this abandoned building, he'll be there..." Aaron said, his voice trembling.

*Faith quickly headed for the stairs. When she hit the second one, her foot crashed right through the step and she fell against the wall. "Shit!" She looked down at her leg, wincing as she tried to remove her foot from the hole.

*The elevator shook slightly and then stopped without warning.   
Faith froze, waiting for the doors to open.   
They didn't.  
Bosco looked over at Faith, then quickly toward the doors, just waiting for that familiar noise of the doors sliding open. "Oh, don't tell me!"  
"Son of a bitch," she muttered quietly.

*"I...I care about you, Faith..."  
"I know that, Bosco. I care about you, too."  
Bosco met her eyes with a steady gaze. "That's not what I meant..."  
She stared at him for a moment, totally confused. "Then, what--?"  
He swallowed. "I care, a lot more than I'm supposed to... I..."

*Faith looked down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes. "Bosco, I know that..." her voice trailed off and she swallowed hard again, trying to find the words. "...I'm sorry, Boz," she whispered, tears in her eyes as she finally looked up at him.  
He swallowed. "So, this afternoon..."  
She bit her lip and tried to hold back the tears. "If things were different....if it was just me I had to think about...you know that..." She shook her head, put her face in her hands, unable to finish.

* * *

Pain (Part One)

Bosco had been lying flat on his back all night long, with his eyes wide open. He couldn't sleep. No matter how he tossed and turned, tried to get into the most comfortable spot on the matress, his eyes just wouldn't shut. And if they did, it was only for a few seconds before he was wide awake again. His every thought was about Faith, back to stuff that had happened to them over the past months, and then yesterday. In the elevator. He closed his eyes as the memory of kissing her flashed before him. As it painfully faded, he opened his eyes, wishing he could have that moment back again.

* * *

"That's what I love about you, Faith... you're not like Nicole, you're not like any of those other wannabe's... you're you. You're Faith."

Faith froze at his words. Had he just said 'love?' 

"Faith?"

She turned around slowly to face him. "You don't love me."

Bosco stepped over to Faith, leaving only a few inches gap between them. He gently touched the side of her face, nodding. "I do, I love you, Faith..."

"Why?" she whispered, her eyes filled with tears. 

"Because you're the best thing in my life...."

Faith was awakened from her dream by the shifting of the mattress. She squinted at the clock. 5:42 a.m. She hadn't fallen asleep until an hour ago when the pain medication the doctor had prescribed finally knocked her out. She felt Fred's hand touch her thigh and his lips nuzzled her neck. Faith cringed slightly and shifted away.

"Aw, come on babe..." Fred reached out to touch her again.

"Not now, okay?" she said, softly.

He ignored her, and wrapped his arms around her. "Come on, just this once."

She closed her eyes as he leaned down and kissed her neck, his hand sliding higher up her leg. She shook her head. "I don't wanna do this right now."

Fred let out a low sigh, but placed kisses from the base of her neck, up to her ear lobe, licking it lightly. "Come on, Faith... the kids are still in bed, and I've got another hour before I have to be up."

Faith opened her eyes again. "My foot hurts, Fred."

"It'll get your mind off it."

"And I barely got any sleep last night..."

He continued kissing her neck, sliding his hand under her nightgown. "Neither did I."

An image of Bosco flashed into her mind, him in front of her, telling her how much he loved her. She shuddered under Fred's touch. 

Fred was startled at his wife's shuddering. He removed his hand from her leg and put his arm around her stomach, hugging her. He still continued to kiss at her neck. "I could take the day off work, we could spend all day in bed."

Faith felt tears sting her eyes and she squeezed them shut again, glad she was faced in the opposite direction and he couldn't see her face. She forced herself to take a deep breath, and then pulled away and sat up. "I've still gotta work, Fred."

He sat up behind her, a frown on his face. "What? You hurt your ankle, the doctor said to keep off it," he said, his tone less than pleased.

"I know, but I've already used up all my sick days with the radiation treatments. If I miss it, we lose the money, and we've got too many bills to pay for me to not work."

"Faith, a few days won't matter.... you can't risk doing further damage, the doctor told you that."

"He told me to stay off it for a few hours. I'll be all right." She turned to face him and gave him a forced, but reassuring smile.

He didn't believe her, and reached out to touch her hand. "I'll call in sick for you, you're not going to work."

Faith shook her head. "It's not that big a deal, Fred. It was just a cut."

He looked right at her. Who was she trying to kid? he thought. "Yeah, one you needed stitches for," he bit back. 

She sighed. "Look, I know you're worried, but I promise you I'll be fine."

Fred let out a sigh, finally nodding. "As long as you promise me that you won't go running around with that partner of yours. Do desk duty or something... please, Faith."

"Like Bosco would let me do anything today besides drive anyway," she said, shaking her head.

He continued looking at his wife, hating how easy it was for her to just talk about *him*, to say his name in front of him. "Up for an early breakfast, then?"

Faith yawned. "Sounds great. What are you fixing?" She smiled.

"I've been told I make a superb omelett, if you want one?"

She nodded quickly. "An omelett would be good."

Fred smiled back at her. "Great, I'll just go whip them up." He climbed out of the bed, smiling back at her once again, before leaving the room.

She smiled back until he left the room. Then the smile faded from her face. She stared at herself in the mirror hanging on the wall. Tears rapidly formed in her eyes and she put her head in her hands for a moment, trying to get control over herself. Just get me through this day, she thought.

* * *

Faith took a deep breath and stepped into the locker room, headed straight for her locker. She caught sight of Bosco facing away from her, his shirt off and she swallowed hard, her gaze lingering a few seconds longer than it should have. She scolded herself and quickly averted her eyes, focusing on the lock on her locker. Her hands were shaking slightly.

Bosco turned in Faith's direction, and seeing her standing there, he swallowed. He turned back to his locker for a moment, quickly slipping on his bullet-proof vest and then his shirt before turning his attention back to her. Damn it hurts, he thought. "Need some help?" 

She jerked her head up, startled at the sound of his voice. "What?"

He nodded toward her lock and shaking hands. "Need some help with the lock?"

She drew in a deep breath and shook her head, forcing herself to concentrate. The lock popped open finally. "Nope, I got it. Thanks."

He nodded, a sudden tightening in his chest as he watched her. Swallowing hard, he turned back to his own locker, buttoning up his shirt until the last button was done up. He removed his tie, and clipped it on, then took in a breath and turned his head back towards Faith.

Faith felt his gaze on her again and she swallowed hard and shrugged out of her jacket. She stuffed it into her locker and grabbed her vest, pulling it on over her head quickly. She buttoned the shirt of her uniform on over it, biting down on her lip. Maybe I shouldn't have come to work today after all, she thought, wondering if she was going to be able to deal with being around Bosco for the next eight hours.

Bosco swallowed, yet again. He turned his attention back to his locker, and closed it. He stepped over the bench in front of it, and sat down, bending over to do up his shoe laces. He reached for the left shoe, or at least he thought he was, instead he just sat there, looking at her. Realizing what he was doing, he looked away, clearing his throat. "I didn't think you'd be working today," he said.

She glanced over at him. "Yeah, well. I used up all my sick days already, so I didn't have much choice."

He nodded, understanding. "So you'll be on desk duty?"

Faith hesitated for a moment. "No..."

He looked at her again, his eyes not shifting. "Oh..."

She looked away. "If you wanna ride with someone else I'd understand," she said quietly, tying her own shoelaces. She hoped like hell he didn't take her up on that offer. As much as she was afraid of being around him all day, she didn't want to not be around him either.

"No, no way..." he said straight away. "We're a team."

A small smile formed on her lips and she nodded, feeling a tiny bit of relief. She glanced at him and met his gaze. "Okay."

Bosco smiled back, turning his attention back to his own shoelaces, and proceeded to tie them. 

She let out a tiny sigh and turned back to her locker, closing it, along with her eyes, very briefly. 

* * *

The drive out from the precinct was in complete silence. Neither said a word to the other as they climbed in the car, or as they were driving out to their sector. Bosco let out a sigh, looking out his side of the car, before turning to Faith. From the expression on her face, he got the feeling she was determined not to look back at him. So he set his eyes in front of them. Letting out another breath. 

"There was this chick at the bar last night..." he said.

Faith carefully avoided looking at him, made no acknowledgement of the new information. What was she supposed to say?

"We had a great time, just talked for hours, danced, talked some more... then we went back to her place."

Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Good for you," she muttered, staring out the windshield.

"Her name was Crystal, a real looker, tall, blonde..."

She resisted the urge to tell him to shut up. Instead she gritted her teeth and her hands tightened even more on the wheel. "Fred and I had a lot of fun last night, too," she said, not looking at him, no expression on her face.

He swallowed at *his* name, but nodded just the same, feeling his nails digging into his leg from the tension building up inside him. "Uh-huh...she gave me her number, I'm gonna give her a call on our next break..."

"We're thinking about taking a second honeymoon. Maybe to like Hawaii or something."

"That's nice," he replied, his tone uninterested. "I'd love to take Crystal to Hawaii, not that we'd see much of the island."

Faith rolled her eyes, unable to contain her disgust. "Yeah, you've known her all of what? Like two seconds?" she snapped.

Bosco shot her a look, grinding his teeth. He looked out his side window. "Yeah, well she's special, okay?"

She considered pulling off the road and getting out of the car, away from him. "Whatever," she muttered.

He crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to look back at her. "Fine," he muttered back.

* * *

Bosco sat in the passenger side of the squad car as Faith drove. Every few minutes or so he'd look in her direction out the corner of his eye. He was worried, worried because they'd hardly spoken, and worried because she shouldn't have been working today, anyway. Not with her ankle damaged as it was.

He looked out along the road, watching everyone as they walked past. His attention was diverted to his radio when a call came through about Darryl Winslow, the perp they were looking for in connection to Matt Harris from their shift the day before.

"Central to 55-David. Darryl Winslow is on foot, eastbound on 22nd," the dispatcher called in over the radio.

Faith turned the sirens on and floored the gas pedal, zooming around two slow-moving cars ahead of them.

He kept his eyes peeled on the road. "55-David in pursuit, Central," he called back into the radio.

She narrowly missed a guy switching lanes ahead of her. "Sonofabitch!" she said, jerking them into the next lane quickly.

Bosco bit back a laugh. He was looking up ahead when he saw their guy. "There!" he said, pointing towards the guy.

She yanked the car off the road and slammed on the brakes, throwing it into park. She took her seatbelt off and jumped out of the car. "Hey!" she shouted at the man.

He was out of the car the moment the car stopped and was running after the guy. The son of a bitch was fast, and cut the corner up ahead. He turned back to Faith momentarily. "You go that way!" he shouted, pointing to a short cut to the left of them, and continued on ahead, until he reached the corner and turned it.

Faith sprinted down the alley as fast as she could, but just as she reached the end of it, a searing pain jolted through her ankle. She let out a muffled cry as she fell onto someone in the intersecting road.

Bosco fell backward at the impact, landing flat on his ass, his wind knocked out of him. His eyes closed at the impact, and it was only when he opened them that he saw who it was. "Faith?" he asked, trying to get his breath back.

She bit down on her lip so hard, she drew blood, not yet realizing who she'd fallen on. Her ankle hurt so much she couldn't think about anything else. Tears stung her eyes and she fought to catch her breath from the sharp pain.

He held onto Faith, getting her to look at him. "Faith, are you okay?" he asked, seeing the tears in her eyes.

She shook her head slightly, still unable to speak. One of the tears fell down and splashed on his shirt. She laid her head down on his chest for a moment, trying to gather up enough breath to speak. Finally she was able to do so. "Go after him," she said, her words coming out somewhere between a sob and a gasp.

He didn't want to leave, not when she was in pain. He looked in the direction they were chasing the guy, to see he was now long gone. "We'll catch him later."

Faith didn't have the energy to fight him on it. She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the rest of her tears. 

Bosco helped her carefully sit up, so that he was sitting up in front of her. "You okay?" he asked again, concern showing in his voice.

She leaned her forehead on his shoulder, shaking her head. "I don't think so, no."

He put his arm around her. "Your ankle?" he asked, knowing.

She nodded, trying to get her breathing stabilized again.

"Okay, let's get you to the hospital." Bosco reached for his radio, but she caught his hand.

"Don't." There was a hint of pleading in her tone.

He looked back at her for a moment before lowering his hand. "We need a bus."

"Please." She didn't want to explain it to him, didn't want him to have more reason to dislike Fred.

Reluctantly, Bosco nodded. Trying to understand, even if he didn't know why she was hesitant about riding in a bus. "We'll take the squad, then..." he said, not letting her argue with him on that decision as he put his arm around her, and helped her carefully rise to her feet.

Instantly the pressure on her foot made her feel sick and she doubled over, breathing hard, trying not to throw up. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Bosco began to panic a little, but without a second thought, he lifted her up in both his arms and hurried down the footpath, toward the car.

"Bosco, what are you doing?" she asked, feeling dizzy and shocked.

"Getting you to the car."

"I'll be fine in just a minute. I'm way too heavy for you to carry. Put me down!" she said, protesting.

Bosco ignored her, carrying her along the sidewalk. "I'll put you down when we get to the car," he replied, ignoring her request.

Faith closed her eyes, embarrassed. I'm such an idiot, she thought, shaking her head. 

He carried her around the corner, until he reached the car, where he set her down carefully on her good foot, and opened the door for her to get in. With tears in her eyes, she quickly climbed in the car, trying to brush them away before he saw. 

As soon as she was in, Bosco closed the door and hurried 'round to the driver's side and climbed in. He started the engine, his hand on the ignition, when he turned to Faith once more. He could see her eyes were red from tears.

She quickly looked away, out the window, biting down on her lip again. She swallowed back the sobs she felt building. She wasn't going to breakdown again. 

Bosco put the car in drive, and peeled away from the curb.

End Part 1


	2. Part 2

Title: Wherever You Will Go series, fic #3: Pain (2/2)

Authors: Demelza and X_tremeroswellian

Email(s): demelza81@yahoo.co.nz and X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to us. They belong to Edward Allen Bernero and John Wells and a bunch of other people that we've never met before. Please don't sue. 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through and including "The Unforgiven." 

Author's Note: This is the third story in a series of Third Watch fics we're writing titled "Wherever You Will Go." The first one is "Confessions," the second is "Here With Me." You may want to read those first before continuing. 

* * *

Pain (Part Two)

Sully nervously fiddled with the salt shaker on the table and glanced at his watch with a frown. Tatiana had said she'd meet him here at 4:30, and it was now 4:43. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping she hadn't changed her mind.

Outside the main door of the diner, Tatiana stood looking in direction of her husband. She was only glad to see that he hadn't left, she was late. Nervously late. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and her hands were sweating. She took in a breath, and reached for the handle of the door and opened it, stepping inside.

Sully heard the bell jingle on the door and immediately turned his head to see her standing there, hesitating in the doorway. Without thinking, he rose to his feet and stared at her, swallowing hard.

Tatiana could feel her heart race more, she took slow steps toward him, her hands nervously clutching at her purse. "John," she said quietly.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, then removed them again. "Hi...I was...afraid you'd changed your mind," he admitted.

She smiled, warmly, stepping right up in front of him. "I did not think you would come, when I saw you...I became nervous."

He smiled, feeling relieved. "I've missed you," he said quietly, reaching out to give her a hug.

Tatiana smiled more, stepping into his hug, and putting her arms around him. "I have missed you, too."

Sully buried his face in her hair, hugging her tightly, half-afraid that this was a dream and that if he let go of her, he'd wake up. 

She closed her eyes at her husband's embrace, her heart slowing, and her nervousness fading as she could feel tears coming on.

"Where have you been?" Sully whispered.

Tatiana stepped back, her arms still around him, but so that she could look directly at him. "I was up visiting family, I tried to ring, but phone call never got through."

He sighed slightly. "I'm afraid I've acquired a nasty habit while you've been gone," he said with a small smile on his face.

She was curious. "Oh?"

"I've become addicted to chatting online. It's probably why you weren't able to get through." Sully looked at her, then motioned to the table he'd been sitting at. "You wanna sit down? Have a cup of coffee and a bagel?"

Tatiana smiled back at him, placing her hand on his arm. "I would love to." She walked over, and sat down at the table.

He slid into the booth seat across from her and just gazed at her. "You look beautiful."

She blushed slightly, looking down at the table for a moment before meeting his gaze. "John..."

"How have you been?"

"I have been good. How about you?"

"I've been better," Sully said quietly, looking down at the table.

Tatiana nodded, reaching her hand out and placing it over his. "I'm glad we decided to talk...there is so much I wish to tell you."

Sully covered her hand with his other one. "Me too."

* * *

Faith winced as Dr. Wilkins removed one of the stitches that had only been halfway ripped out. She dug her fingernails into the exam table, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.

Bosco looked over at his partner, watching her grimace in pain. Every part of him wanted to walk over and hold her hand, and assure her it'd all be okay. Instead, he dug his hands deep into his pockets.

"I told you to stay off this for awhile," the doctor said in a condescending tone of voice.

Oh great, it's bad enough she's suffering, he has to be an ass about it? Bosco thought, balling his fists up. 

She ignored his remark and looked across the room to where Bosco was leaning back against the wall. She met his gaze for a moment, then glanced away.

He caught her glancing at him, and took in a breath, swearing inwardly that he wouldn't let it out until the doctor left the room.

"I think we're going to have to start you on antibiotics to prevent your foot from getting an infection. I'll have the nurse come in to clean it before I restitch."

Faith nodded but didn't respond. She looked down at the floor, where drops of blood from her wound were dripping slowly onto the white tile. 

Dr. Wilkins shook his head with a sigh and left the room.

As Bosco watched the doctor he now despised walk out, he exhaled slowly, turning back to Faith.

"Here we are again," she murmured softly.

He pushed himself away from the wall with his foot and slowly took a few steps closer to Faith, stopping only a few feet away from her. "Want me to call Fred?" His voice was cold, distant at the mere question.

She jerked her head up, her eyes wide. "No!"

Bosco looked at her, the expression on his face showing his shock at her reaction. "Okay."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She ran a hand through her hair and exhaled slowly. Get control of yourself, she thought, opening her eyes and seeing the shock on her partner's face. "He's at work...I don't want to get him in trouble." 

Disbelieving her, he nodded. "Sure," he muttered.

Faith stared at him. "What the hell does that mean?"

Bosco looked directly at her, a frown creasing his brow. "Nothing!"

She shook her head. "Fine. Whatever." 

"I can't believe you....you snapped my head off for nothing!"

"Yeah, like you don't do the same thing to me *every day!*" She wasn't sure where her anger was coming from, but the longer she sat there, the angrier she felt.

"I do not do that to you *every day!* And since when is this *my* fault? I didn't say a damn thing!"

"Why don't you just go? Go back to work, or to Crystal or whatever." Tears stung her eyes and she was angry with herself for it.

He looked at her, angered, not seeing the tears in her eyes. "Crystal? So this is what... what you're treating me about, is because of her!?"

She bit down on her tongue and didn't answer, afraid of what she might say if she opened her mouth again.

Bosco shook his head. "I can't believe this!"

She had to get out of there before she had a total breakdown in front of him. She slid off the exam table, letting out a silent gasp of pain as her feet hit the floor. Trying to ignore the pain, she moved slowly toward the door.

He went after her, turning her around by the arm. Inside, he was angry, upset, confused... hell he was pissed off. But not with her, he admitted, when they stood looking at each other. "I..." He couldn't get the words out.

She stared at him with unshed tears in her eyes. "What?" Her voice was quiet, all the anger gone, weariness replacing it.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice quiet, his own anger having gone, his tone now filled with regret.

Faith nodded sadly. "Me too."

All he could do was swallow, looking back at her.

She closed her eyes for a second, then looked at him again. "It would never work, Bosco," she said softly.

"Yes, it would," Bosco answered, sounding hurt.

"No, it wouldn't...because I'm not the person you think I am."

He shook his head in mild frustration. "You say that, but I know that's not true!"

"No, you don't know it!" she said, her voice rising slightly, not in anger, but out of her own frustration.

"Then help me understand."

"How am I supposed to do that when I don't even understand it myself?" She moved away from him, wincing from the pain in her foot.

Bosco reached out to touch her arm as she moved away, seeing the grimace on her face. "Then we'll figure it out, together."

"How are we gonna do that?"

"I don't know, but we could figure out a way."

"Bosco, I have to try and work things out with Fred."

Feeling really hurt, Bosco stepped back, not taking his eyes off her. "Why?"

Faith turned to look at him, pained. "Because he's my husband," she said softly.

And after how he's treated you, that makes a difference? he thought. He merely swallowed again. "You're not happy." He tried to sound caring, but it came out sounding harsher than he'd intended. 

"That's my problem," she said, calmly. "Besides that, you're with someone, remember?" There was a hint of bitterness to her tone.

Bosco lost his ability to breathe out at her statement. But after a quick moment, he blinked, and finally let it out. "Right," he said, his voice sad.

"Right," she echoed, the same sadness reflected in her voice. She looked at him, a knot in her stomach. "Are we gonna be able to work together?" she asked, fearful of his answer.

Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah. We're a team, remember?"

Tears stung her eyes again. "I remember," Faith whispered.

The nurse walked into the room at that moment, smiling brightly. "Well, are you ready for me to clean that foot?"

* * *

After the nurse had cleaned up Faith's wound, and the doctor had restitched her foot and wrapped her ankle with a fresh bandage, they went back out to the squad car. Bosco drove and all he could think about was how much of a dick he felt like for trying to make Faith jealous of Crystal. It was what he wanted, but then it wasn't what he wanted, either. Yes, he wanted Faith to be jealous and hurting, but only so that she'd consider being with him, someone who loved her deeply. But instead she'd decided that she wanted to 'sort things out' with Fred. He cursed under his breath as the name flashed in his mind.

Faith stared out the passenger side window of the RMP. She brushed away a stray tear that managed to fall from her eye. Why did what she wanted and needed have to clash with what was right? Why did everything always have to be so complicated? And why the hell, after just hours after he told her he loved her, did Bosco have to go hook up with some new chick?

She sighed slightly as he pulled the car up to the sidewalk by her apartment building.

Bosco put the car in park, and slowly turned to Faith. "Here we are."

"Yeah. Thanks for the ride," she said softly. She reached for the door handle.

He nodded. "Wait..." he said suddenly as she reached for the handle.

She paused and swallowed hard. She glanced over her shoulder at him. "What?"

He tried to find the exact words, the right ones. But the only words that were running through his mind were, 'I love you, Faith'. Clearing his throat, he gripped the steering wheel with the hand that still rested on it. "Faith, I..."

"Please don't make this any harder than it already is," she whispered, pleading.

"I can't hide how I feel, Faith... you can't ask me to."

Faith let go of the door handle and turned to face him directly. "Do you know what this is doing to me? It's killing me, Bosco. Do you think I want it to be like this? That I ever wanted it to--" her voice broke and she cursed herself silently. 

"What? What were you going to say, Faith?"

"I wish I'd met you first, okay?" She reached up and angrily swiped away her tears. "I wish I'd met you first, instead of Fred. But I didn't. I can't go back and change that now, no matter how much I want to. I married him...we have kids together. You and I..." She shook her head, unable to finish.

Bosco let go of the steering wheel, and turned around on the seat so he was facing her. "Me and you, what, Faith?" he asked, keeping his voice calm and soft.

"It just wasn't meant to be," she said softly, her voice catching.

He shook his head, reaching out and putting his hand on her arm. "No, Faith, I don't believe that. Why else would we be here, where we are right now, if it wasn't meant to be?"

"Because we're partners. We're friends." She reached for the door handle again. "I could never make you happy anyway, Boz...just ask Fred," she added quietly, her voice barely audible.

Bosco reached for Faith, catching her arm and turning her back to him. "How do you know what would make me happy or not, Faith? Because you do, you make me more happy than I've ever been in my entire life."

Faith knew she wasn't going to be able to handle much more of this. She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "You'll find someone else...you deserve so much more than I could ever give you."

He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment, before looking at her again. "You're the only one that makes me happy."

She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned back against the seat. "You're mistaking happiness for security, Bosco. There's a big difference."

Bosco shook his head again. "No, I think you are, in staying with Fred. You want that security of familiarity. That's what you see when you go upstairs every night after work, that you forget what's really important. Being happy. And if you say you're happy with him, then you're a liar!"

"Don't judge me, Bosco," she said, a touch of warning in her voice. "You don't know where I've been." Her voice dropped to a whisper again.

He kept his voice calm, looking straight at her. "So tell me, Faith. I want to know about your past, about this side of you, that I don't know."

She shook her head. "Why?" 

"Because you mean that much to me."

Faith shuddered. "You really don't want to know, Bosco...trust me."

When he spoke again, his voice was firm and sure. "Yes, I do. Tell me, Faith... tell me what was so bad about your past?"

For a split second, looking into his eyes, she considered telling him everything. She swallowed hard and a wave of panic washed over her. She grabbed the door handle. "I can't. Not now. I'm sorry, Bosco." She opened the door quickly and bolted out of the car.

"Faith! Faith!" he shouted after her, out the window. But when she wouldn't turn back, he slammed his fist into the steering wheel. "Fuck!" Bosco said angrily, not even aware of the stabbing pain in his knuckles.

Faith burst into tears but forced herself to keep moving despite the fact he called out after her. I'm sorry, she thought, sobs building in her chest. 

* * *

Faith sat on the sofa, trying to pull herself together and not succeeding. When she heard the lock turn in the door, she jumped, startled, and quickly wiped her eyes and cheeks free from the tears. She stood up just as the door opened.

Fred walked in, a newspaper tucked under his arm. Key in his hands, he pushed the door closed behind him and walked into the room. "Faith, you been crying?" he asked, concern in his voice as he walked over to her.

She shook her head in denial. "No."

He didn't believe her, and tossed the paper and keys over onto the sofa. He stepped right up to her, looking her in the eyes. "No, you have. Why were you crying?"

Faith shook her head again. "Nothing, baby. I'm fine."

Fred nodded, but still didn't believe her. "Uh-huh. Then why are you home early? I thought you were working." The last statement came out sounding dangerously close to an accusation. 

She cringed. "I shouldn't have gone to work today."

"I told you that this morning," he snapped, but let out a breath and lowered his tone. "But you didn't listen."

She looked away. "I know. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you."

"Damn right you should have," he bit back. "Sorry, I'm just worried. You know you shouldn't have gone to work. I told you, we could have both stayed home," he said, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him. 

"I pulled out some stitches. Had to go back to the hospital," she told him, avoiding his gaze.

"How'd you get home, then? Why didn't you call me? I could have come picked you up."

Faith shrugged slightly. "Bosco dropped me off on the way back to the station." There was a slight hitch to her voice when she said Bosco's name, and she cringed, hoping Fred hadn't caught it. 

Fred's anger built inside him hearing his wife say Bosco's name. And the way she said it made him even more angry. But he brushed that aside for the moment, like he tried to do every other time she mentioned the man's name. "Well, you should have called me, Faith. I would have come down there."

"It wasn't a big deal. I didn't want to bother you."

"I'm your husband, Faith. I would have dropped whatever I was doing and been there. And it wasn't a big deal? If it wasn't a big deal you'd still be at work, not here at home," he said, sounding both hurt and angry.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? What do you want me to say?" Her voice was tired, defeated.

"What I want you to say is to explain to me why you were so damn pig-headed in the first place, and decided to go to work!"

She was taken aback by the anger in his voice. She pulled away from him. "Fred..."

"No, Faith. First you won't let me touch you this morning, then you adamantly decide to go to work, never minding the fact that you damn well knew better than to go! And now, I come home, and you're lying to me!"

Faith turned away and headed back to the hallway, toward the bathroom. "I can't do this right now."

Fred walked after her angrily, swinging her around by the arm. "No, don't you damn well walk away from me!"

She yanked her arm away from him. "Don't touch me!" she snapped, her eyes flashing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded.

She stood in shock, unable to believe she had just said that. "Fred, I'm sorry," she said immediately, her voice shaking.

"Sorry doesn't cut it anymore, Faith," he snapped, his voice still carrying the same level of anger.

She flinched and took a small step away from him. "I'm sorry," she said again, her voice faint.

Fred lowered his voice. "Just tell me the truth, Faith."

"The truth about what?"

He looked at her angrily. "I just told you before, for the lying."

Faith stared at him, bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

"If you can't even think for what, I don't want to talk to you."

She shook her head in frustration. "Fine." She turned and headed for the bathroom.

Fred didn't even bother to comment on her remark, he just stormed back into the living room and picked up the cushion. Angry, he threw it back down onto the sofa, and kicked the edge of the couch as hard as he could.

Faith slammed the bathroom door shut and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She put her head in her hands. Now what? she wondered, exhausted.

The End...for now...


End file.
